But not really.
I am supposed to be taking video of myself talking about lust for a church project that I wrote about over here.
After 1+ hours of trying to make this video happen I feel utterly ridiculous and have learned the following which I will share with you via bullet point list (so that it looks official and I feel better about myself):
- Speaking and writing are different. I like to do both, however, where I write best when I’m alone the complete opposite is true of speaking. Staring at a video reflection of myself and talking is weird. Just. Weird.
- I make terrible faces which I would rather not know about (above is an example). This is why God put my eyes in my head and not in the palms of my hands. I’m sorry that means all of the people I talk to have to endure it, but we must all play our part.
- Sometimes webcams make computers crash which means you have to resort to taking video with your phone.
- What I think is cute hair is not cute hair in videos.
- For me, maintaining train of thought while talking requires gesticulation with both hands. This means that I sound like an idiot in all eight videos I took with my phone.
- Propping the phone up on something to free your hands prevents you from getting the good selfie angles. And apparently I’m vain.
Finally, and with more anguish than was really necessary I looked to the heavens and groaned, “God, I love you, but why does loving you have to make me look so stupid?!?!??!?!!”
And God said, “Really, Katie?”
So I put on my big girl panties and called my sister and asked her to take the video of me later this afternoon.
The cool news is that God doesn’t draw comparisons, he’s not giving me a list of people who have it way worse than I do, because lets face it there are many things worse than having to take a video of yourself. He’s not rubbing that in my face. He cares that this process makes me feel like a rambling, ridiculous, ill-qualified, idiot and he loves me, horrible faces and all.
So later today I’ll make the video and not because I got slapped with how insignificant my feelings of ridiculousness are, but because God loves me and I love him, too, and he asked me to do it. Period.