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One afternoon Kristin was telling me about this video because she knew it would make me mad. This is what friends do sometimes (at least female ones) and it’s not because we’re actually trying to piss each other off, it’s just because we know what each other care about and sometimes it comes out, “Ohhhhhh man I saw this thing that would drive you crazy!”
Of course I wanted to see the video after she mentioned it and of course she was right– my eye rolling began as soon as this “popular YouTube star and mother of two” started talking.
After it was over and I was just as annoyed as Kristin promised I’d be my thoughts went like this”
Don’t do it, Katie. Don’t take the bait. Click the ‘I don’t want to see this’ link in your mind.
At first it worked, I misplaced it in my mind and forgot all about it, but then it was everywhere. A million and two links on Facebook, blog posts, videos, and articles all defending mom-hood against the unenlightened minds of the childless who have (apparently) collectively decided that all of our now parent friends have entered the age of douch-i-ness.
And they’re all getting it wrong.
Put down your pitch forks and fire sticks, ladies. We don’t believe motherhood has made you an asshole anymore than being single and childless makes us idiots!
We know kids change everything and they suck up your time and energy, there’s really no need to explain or offer excuses for that, we get it. There may be a few of us who’ve never had a lot of experience with kids and maybe that few doesn’t know all of the details, but being logical human beings we all can reason that giving birth to and raising a child is not easy.
Maybe you could consider for one moment that just because we share our time with different things than you do now, doesn’t mean that we don’t share our time and that we’re obviously completely self-consumed. We still have worries and responsibilities and single person incomes. And yeah, WE KNOW that those things aren’t the same as having a child, but please don’t do us the injustice of acting like they are less important than motherhood because that really does make you look like an ass. The grass is always greener, right? We could compare notes all day.
Perhaps instead of feeling pressured by our text messages, emails, and invitations out, you might see them instead as us offering an olive branch– a way for us to remind you that you aren’t forgotten, you’re still important to us. Because for all of those same reasons your baby makes it hard for you to go out with us that you mentioned, it also makes it hard for us to go out with you and your baby. We aren’t trying to be demanding of your precious time, we just don’t want you to think that we have abandoned you since our lives have started going in different directions. It’s ok for you to take your time getting back to us and to decline invitations when you need to. We get it.
But really, here’s the thing: All that time you’re spending making YouTube videos or writing exhaustive lists of excuses for why we’re too much trouble for you in the midst of all of your heavy mom-responsibilities that you believe us to be totally clueless of, you could be sending us a three word text message that says the only thing we really want to hear from our friend whom we miss.
Motherhood, becoming a wife, work schedules, social events, being single– none of it is a good excuse to be a bad friend, and that’s the bottom line.
Long day of church, family, random food (funerals and potlucks always kill me, my body isn’t made for these things).
I need to go to bed but I keep thinking about how this evening in the car Tessa and Shelby were talking about God and Tessa said she thought God looked “strong with puffy hair”. I love those girls more than most things in this world and it literally delights me to hear them talk about God without being prompted. It was exactly what I needed to hear right then.
I decided that rather than change things up here again, because I talk about a lot of random things here with no particular theme in mind, and I like it that way, that I would start a second blog for all of my dating adventures. Because yeah, I’m dating now. I haven’t been dating in a while due to… well. A lot. But a lot has changed recently and I am dating and it’s going to be interesting and funny if nothing else, so should you feel the sudden and irrepressible urge to know what it’s like to be Dating Katie Brown swing by and say hello. =)
The trouble with keeping things for my professional makeup kit is that it means that I have piles of supplies that have to be stores somewhere. I’d never really taken the time to separate and organize all of it until today. It was a lot of work.
I’m exhausted now… I also spent a couple hours in the park with three children and an energetic labrador. Played, Zeke and the kids jumped in the spring even though it was ridiculously cold. It was a lot of fun and I’m really glad that I’m so tired. I need some good sleep.
I never expected to enjoy being an Aunt this much. I mean, I expected to enjoy it, but I lived kind of far from my Aunt’s growing up, so I wasn’t super close to them. It’s extremely important to me to be involved in the lives of my nieces and nephews. It’s extremely important to me to be a woman that my nieces can trust and look up to.
Tonight we’ve had dinner and ice cream in bed. We’re watching The Princess Bride and I’ve gotten to listen to lots of little girl conversation, which honestly, is hilarious.
Tessa got a pink balloon from Old Navy and named it Bob.
Shelby is extremely invested in Buttercup not marrying the awful prince.
These girls are beautiful, different, thoughtful, curious, funny and they are so very dear to me.
(This was supposed to post last night and just didn’t for some weird reason.)
Today was a stormy day, the little guy I nanny for did a rain dance that was really funny, but the rain kind of made me feel like dancing too.
Tonight I took my nieces and nephew to “Old McDonald”.
We all ate chicken nuggets on the playground and talked about the pictures we could see in the clouds. Then Tessa told me about how she likes to eat like a “maniac”. My favorite part of that conversation was her description of what a maniac is, which involved very few words and a lot of flailing and very special facial expressions.
I learned that if you treat the people at McDonald’s like human beings the sauce policy is more lenient than normal and that I can carry three very large ice cream cones in one hand while directing traffic with the other.
After eating and playing and ice cream cones (which Cash dropped and then continued eating anyway) we drove home, windows down, listening to Imagine Dragons turned up loud and enjoyed the unusually cool July evening. At home we sat for an hour and I read books, then Shelby read books. It was quiet and cozy.
I am one hell of an aunt.
I miss my mom so much lately.
32 is turning out to be a year where I feel like I’m getting smacked in the face with all of these feelings, fears, hopes, dreams, changes, challenges, adventures, discoveries, disappointments, and heartaches all at once and I wish so badly that she was here so I could just ask her if this is how she felt? I just wish I knew what she heard from God when she was my age and what she prayed and hoped for seemed like it was impossible and she felt lonely. I wish I had asked her. I wish I had asked her a thousand times so I knew it by heart.
I’m thankful that I know for sure God hears me. I know He’s there and he hears me.
In other news… I also learned that if Cash comes to me and says, “Um Katie, you probably don’t want to know this, but…” that I do not, in fact, want to know whatever comes after that but.
Fresh air, nice weather (not blistering heat) and good company. Great way to spend a Sunday. We played the recently revamped Cat Hollow course, its lovely. Easy to follow (once you realize that the course has been completely overhauled and is backwards from the way it used to be), its clean, and has the prettiest tee-pads I’ve ever seen.