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Anyway… I had thought about trying to make this a Surprise Friday! titled post and then attempt to repeat it again every Friday, but the thing is that I LOVE the idea of things like that and am HORRIBLE at seeing them through. I tried to do the Instagram July photo challenge and I don’t think I made it past day 9.
So anyway, I’m just going to talk about something that surprises people a lot about me when they encounter it for the first time.
So I am uber competitive. I have been for most of my life, and I understand why this can be a little shocking to people at times. I’m a pretty low-key on the outside kind of personality. I’m a thinker long before I am a doer, or a talker (even though it is hard to get me to stop talking once I’ve started). Anyway, a lot of people misunderstand it for shyness, and it’s not at all, so I think that makes it kind of jarring when my competitive nature surfaces for the first time around someone new.
I don’t compete just to compete, I compete to win. This means two things are true: I am extremely choosy about what I compete for. I wont try at all if I don’t believe I have a really good shot at winning. And I am a terrible loser. I have no problem admitting it. I really don’t like to lose.
With that in mind the best sort of competition for me is the kind where I am competing with myself. So I like physical activity where I can measure improvement.
So I’ve been playing a lot of disc golf, and I love it because I can play on my own (even though I’d prefer to play with friends) and I can measure and see improvement. The trouble is when I get excited about something like this I push myself really hard. As I mentioned last night, I fell in the mud yesterday while playing. I should have known better than to go out, it had been raining for three days pretty steadily and of course the ground was going to be wet. But because it had been raining for three days I was really anxious to get some sunshine and air and movement in my life and I let it override reason. That picture is the clean version of my post fall hands. I wont even talk about what the rest of me looked like.
Proverbs says, “Pride comes before a fall”… and I’m sure there is some kind of pride rooted in my irresistible urge to exercise for better or for worse, however I’m here to tell you that what also comes before a fall is a lot of failing, wobbling and noises that you weren’t aware you could make.
This is why I really hate working late.
It’s 10:25 and though normally at this time of night I would have just read half a page of one of the books stacked on my beside table and my eyes would already have started becoming heavy, tonight I am about to blog about my day just hoping that reliving it all will be enough to push me to mental exhaustion. My body is already there.
If this doesn’t work I might be forced to kick it old school and heat some milk. Grim.
I’ve been watching and rewatching videos of Liz (Lopez) Dorries, a local pro disc golfer, drive. My drive is the one thing that I really wanted to tackle this summer in my disc golf game. I don’t play with any heavily experiences female players, so watching youtube videos has really been the only way for me to see what proper form looks like.
After a few conversations with the mister who fathered me into the game (wow– my random brain is trying to draw parallels between how vampires are “made” and how one gets sucked into disc golf, but I really shouldn’t go there) I realized that my hips weren’t doing what they should. Between watching and conversation I thought I had a pretty good idea of what I needed to do. I went out this morning, early, to see if I could manage, and manage I did. I managed to make myself good and sore.
I got the hip rotation down really well and my drives improved a lot! I am still loooooving my Innova Krait, I get my longest drives throwing it. I took all of my drivers and over-all, better form means all of the discs perform better. Woohoo! As a bonus for all of my hard work, my outer thigh muscles and obliques are decimated, I’d said earlier today that I thought a little night time stretch would take care of it, but I don’t have as much faith that it will now. We’ll see in the morning, but I was also sure that my arm wasn’t going to be sore at all, and it’s not the way it usually is. Most times I throw my shoulder and elbow get a little worn out. Both of those parts are fine tonight, but my right bicep is achey.
In other news… I had chik’n nuggests for dinner that were, apparently, made out of some kind of fungi according to the packaging. Meatless and soy-less. They weren’t bad. I also had macaroni and cheese and salad. I must eat a lot more leafy greens than I give myself credit for. Yesterday when asked what her Aunt Katie’s favorite food was, Tessa replied with total confidence and a hint of exasperation “Salad. She always wants salad.” If a 4 year old notices, it’s got to be a lot.
I eat eggs for breakfast a lot.
They seem to be one of the best things to have before I go to work and can’t ever be sure when my break will fall. I’m pretty simple about them, I like them scrambled on toast, or scrambled in breakfast tacos. The trouble is that at random I really hate them, and I can’t figure out why. There are some days, and I’m not doing anything different on those days, trust me, that they just taste gross. It’s annoying.
So next week I’m going to start swimming laps. Hopefully. The next several weeks are pretty busy for me and I have a lot on my mind. I feel like the water will help relieve some of the mind pressure, but it’s also exhausting, so I’m trying to be balanced about it. My goal is to get to the pool Tuesday and Thursday (at quite a painful hour of the morning).
I have to admit that lap pools totally intimidate me. I’m a good swimmer, but I’m by no means a great one and you get those people in there who have been swimming forever or who take it very seriously and look like they are training for the olympics and I’m pretty sure to them I look fairly ridiculous. I mean, it’s not really important how I look to them, but still. It’s intimidating. Usually in these situations I just have to steel myself against all of the alarms going off in my head about what people may or may not be seeing/thinking and just dive in (no pun intended).
I leave for California the 19th and I’m trying to prepare myself to pack next week. My work schedule is such that if I don’t plan to pack, bit by bit, early, then I will be rushing at the last minute and forget something important. I’m really going to try packing lightly… kind of. As lightly as I can manage to get away with. Trimming down the makeup I’m using is definitely going to help with that, but now I have to consider hair stuff. I don’t know if in cutting back on the makeup I’ve somehow transfered some of the product usage to my hair, but I kind of have a lot of hair stuff to deal with. The only thing that I’m really torn about taking is my clampless curling iron. I like the soft curls. Hmm.
I know this is just what you all wanted to read about this morning, random hatred of eggs, packing and hair, but I woke up with so much on my mind and my heart. It felt like I had been sleeping with a huge rock on my chest. It wasn’t really worry so much as concern for too much all at once. Sometimes life doesn’t give us any sort of break and no matter where we look, everything is changing, everything is dying and being reborn at the same time. It’s exciting, but there are moments when it feels like a crushing weight because you don’t know what will come next.
As my sister often says,
Oh great God give us rest.
Fresh air, nice weather (not blistering heat) and good company. Great way to spend a Sunday. We played the recently revamped Cat Hollow course, its lovely. Easy to follow (once you realize that the course has been completely overhauled and is backwards from the way it used to be), its clean, and has the prettiest tee-pads I’ve ever seen.
I found a bathing suit, thank God. Since I was looking for something athletic and built for actual swimming and not just laying in the sun I saved myself some time and effort and just went to Academy sports store. SO MUCH EASIER. The suit is not exciting so I’m moving on to what is.
Yay new disc!!! I got a new Innova disc in the blizzard plastic. My girlie desire for a sparkly or shimmery disc is finally met with this new one, and its a breeze to throw. Nice and light weight and I feel like I can control it. Tomorrow I’m going to a course with some friends to really break it in, but I couldn’t help playing with it in my Dad’s yard this evening with the nieces and nephew.
We threw at a lawn chair. 🙂
I have this problem. I set REALLY high goals for myself and then feel like a total loser when I can’t reach them, because they are so incredibly high that it would honestly be a miracle if I managed, and I’d probably kill myself in the process.
“Respecting where my body is at today”, as my yoga teacher would say, is not something that comes easily to me. I want to push. Not all pushing is a bad thing, but there’s a line between challenging yourself and being irresponsible. I’ve crossed that line in the past… a lot. So I work hard to be balanced, I’m learning to know when enough is enough today.
Today is simply that- today.
In spite of what we all believe most of the time, today doesn’t have to be the culmination of all the yesterdays that have been and it doesn’t have to dictate a portion of what all of our tomorrows look like. I know we want to focus on how far we’ve come, we want to plan ahead too, and know that the choices we make today will shape our future. Those things are true and they are not at the same time. The only thing we can impact is today, so while yesterdays and tomorrows are there and they matter, they shouldn’t be what we focus on.
So today my body is tired.
Today I needed to be gentle with myself, and instead of walking as fast as my short legs would carry me, I needed to slow it down a bit and take time to look up into the giant tree branches in the park and notice the difference in the bark and the shapes of their leaves. I needed to remember that I’ve been looking at some of those sturdy trees my entire life.
Today I needed a waffle when I got home. Not the healthiest choice from one perspective, but healthy because for me it gives me a chance to be balanced in the way I think about food and remember there’s room for waffles when you are disciplined and mindful.
But just because that’s where I’m at today doesn’t mean that I haven’t worked hard in the past, or that tomorrow will be the same.
On a completely different note. I ran into Wal-Greens.
One day when I’m not working in retail cosmetics anymore you’re going to find me wandering the cosmetic isle of drug stores looking deeply confused. How does anyone find anything on those shelves? It’s insane. All I wanted was a simple brow pencil!
In an effort to be more healthy and more sane I’ve started going to pilates and yoga classes with my good friend Sarah.
I’ve done both pilates and yoga before, but always at home. I don’t know, for some reason I was intimidated of taking classes, I didn’t like the idea of having to get a gym membership to go to classes either. I really, really, reallyreallyreallyreally, don’t like gyms. I don’t want to sound like I’m casting judgement on everyone who goes into them, but gyms make me uncomfortable and I don’t end up going. I don’t know how the idea struck me but sometime a couple months ago I remembered that the Georgetown Recreation Center offered various classes, started talking to Sarah about them and eventually decided to attend.
Best. Decision. Ever.
I LOVE the Rec Center! The feeling walking in is so different than going into a gym… instead of a sense of competition, you feel a sense of community. There’s no judgement, the people inside seem, well, happy. The classes are mixed ages and mixed levels of ability, but you never feel left out or left behind, it’s OK to laugh at yourself, and feel good about what you’re learning and you don’t even really stop to compare how you’re doing compared to someone else. Which, let me tell you, is really saying something coming from me because I am very competitive and very hard on myself.
I can’t even begin to say how much I look forward to getting to go to class now, how grateful I am that Sarah invited me to that first class, and how awesome the people in the classes and the teachers are.
I have been knee-deep (sometimes literally) in working on zombie stuff for the shoot I have coming up March 13th, but today I have to deal with a different kind of hoard. That’s right ladies and gentlemen Prom season 2013 starts today (ridiculously early)! That means non-stop formal makeovers at my day job and being covered to my elbows in glitter by the time I leave.
Teenage girls dealing with what they believe is “the most important day of their life” is exhausting, and that’s on top of the physical exhaustion that comes with doing face, after face, after face. People like to assume that there isn’t much involved physically while you’re doing makeup, allow me to break it down for you like this:
- Standing for hours on end is hard work. Just to be standing up-right and balanced you’re using your leg, back, and core muscles.
- Add to that your height and the height of your client. I’m 5 feet tall… most of my clients are a good bit taller than me (even the teenagers). For me there’s usually a good bit of reaching up and standing on tip-toe. For someone taller than me there’s going to be a lot of bending and stooping.
- Eyes are a very small part of the body and central to any makeup application, especially formal makeup. It requires precision, careful attention to detail and symmetry. Working with steady hands requires a lot of muscle control in the arms. You know that feeling you get in your arms after you’ve been holding a curling iron in your hair and you’re only half done? Try doing that on six different people back to back, only you’re holding a tiny brush and trying to make things like very straight and even lines… while all of the muscles in your body are working to keep you balanced because you are either bending over your client or reaching up to them.
- Engaging the creative part of your brain, while exciting and seemingly effortless for an artist, is very draining. There are TONS of things at work all at once in your head when you are working on a face. You’re balancing colors against each other, you’re considering the over-all look, facial structure, light and shadow, where to enhance and what to cover, and then filing through lists of products and narrowing it down to what is appropriate to use.
- Last- running from product… we’ve all worn pedometers in the store and it’s amazing how many miles you can walk without even realize it just moving around the store gathering product.
Now consider all of that going on at one time, with the pressure of mothers standing in watching every move you make and asking questions the whole way through, and a client who expects that by the time you’re finished with her she’s going to look in the mirror and see Taylor Swift looking back at her. It’s hard work. Be kind to your artists =).