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One afternoon Kristin was telling me about this video because she knew it would make me mad. This is what friends do sometimes (at least female ones) and it’s not because we’re actually trying to piss each other off, it’s just because we know what each other care about and sometimes it comes out, “Ohhhhhh man I saw this thing that would drive you crazy!”
Of course I wanted to see the video after she mentioned it and of course she was right– my eye rolling began as soon as this “popular YouTube star and mother of two” started talking.
After it was over and I was just as annoyed as Kristin promised I’d be my thoughts went like this”
Don’t do it, Katie. Don’t take the bait. Click the ‘I don’t want to see this’ link in your mind.
At first it worked, I misplaced it in my mind and forgot all about it, but then it was everywhere. A million and two links on Facebook, blog posts, videos, and articles all defending mom-hood against the unenlightened minds of the childless who have (apparently) collectively decided that all of our now parent friends have entered the age of douch-i-ness.
And they’re all getting it wrong.
Put down your pitch forks and fire sticks, ladies. We don’t believe motherhood has made you an asshole anymore than being single and childless makes us idiots!
We know kids change everything and they suck up your time and energy, there’s really no need to explain or offer excuses for that, we get it. There may be a few of us who’ve never had a lot of experience with kids and maybe that few doesn’t know all of the details, but being logical human beings we all can reason that giving birth to and raising a child is not easy.
Maybe you could consider for one moment that just because we share our time with different things than you do now, doesn’t mean that we don’t share our time and that we’re obviously completely self-consumed. We still have worries and responsibilities and single person incomes. And yeah, WE KNOW that those things aren’t the same as having a child, but please don’t do us the injustice of acting like they are less important than motherhood because that really does make you look like an ass. The grass is always greener, right? We could compare notes all day.
Perhaps instead of feeling pressured by our text messages, emails, and invitations out, you might see them instead as us offering an olive branch– a way for us to remind you that you aren’t forgotten, you’re still important to us. Because for all of those same reasons your baby makes it hard for you to go out with us that you mentioned, it also makes it hard for us to go out with you and your baby. We aren’t trying to be demanding of your precious time, we just don’t want you to think that we have abandoned you since our lives have started going in different directions. It’s ok for you to take your time getting back to us and to decline invitations when you need to. We get it.
But really, here’s the thing: All that time you’re spending making YouTube videos or writing exhaustive lists of excuses for why we’re too much trouble for you in the midst of all of your heavy mom-responsibilities that you believe us to be totally clueless of, you could be sending us a three word text message that says the only thing we really want to hear from our friend whom we miss.
Motherhood, becoming a wife, work schedules, social events, being single– none of it is a good excuse to be a bad friend, and that’s the bottom line.
I find it hilarious how that title makes me sound, it may only be a little bit true…
I had a wonderful weekend celebrating my grand entrance into the world. It wasn’t really about just wanting a ton of attention, I did things with very small groups of people, really. Mostly it was just that for the first time in my life I feel really good about my age. When I was younger I always felt I should be old and in the past couple of years I have felt terrified about what it “should” mean to be in my 30’s.
For some reason 33 feels good and full of hope and big things.
So I celebrated by laughing with the people I am close to, eating great food, listening to beautiful music, being outside and hugging my nieces and nephews whose thoughtfulness and abundant love are amazing to me.
I hope this year will be one I never forget. Here are a few picture highlights.
I had/have the great honor of being raised by two individuals who were/are vehemently FOR people.
My parents, much to the frustration of some, always found a way to put people first– This meant that the house was often messy, sometimes there were people living on our couch, we always cooked in bulk so that we could feed any and everyone who just showed up, and yes, people sometimes just showed up unannounced and my parents welcomed them in. It meant that as often as we could we adjusted our plans in life to put people before all the things we were “supposed to do”.
Some people didn’t get it.
Some people said it was irresponsible.
I believe that it was a gift from God and I am so thankful that the attitude of being for people is something that has had a powerful influence on my life.
Today was filled with being for people.
I’ll share some of my favorite parts in photos. =)
It’s been a good several days in Katie Land! I’ve been amazingly and gloriously busy and I kind of loved it except for the severe lack of sleep that came with it all.
Thursday and Friday were all about attending the Love Does Austin conference and getting to soak up words of encouragement, advice and inspiration from some of the people I admire most in the world. I felt like this conference breathed life into my hopes for my present and future. I feel like there is a light and I can jump into it.
Next up was my dear friend Jenny’s bachelorette party, which was extremely fun and very exciting. Dancing the night away is always a good thing, especially if you are doing it with people you love. It just so happened that after a full conference day and dancing and going to bed after 4am that my 6:30 alarm felt like death. I managed to scrap myself together though and get to the church in time for the lock-in.
One of the students was participating in a charity event and was gaming for 25 hours straight and his peers were excited to play with him and support his effort to do something good with what he’s good at. It was awesome and we had a blast. I honestly don’t remember the last time I have laughed so hard… or crawled on the floor for so long during a very intense game of sardines (if you don’t know what that is you need to find out fast and get a group together to play).
I also got to be a part of creating a new game when we had played all of the Sardines that we could possibly stand. So. Much. Fun.
I’m still not fully recovered from the tired and I suppose the fact that I am awake and writing at nearly 1am is not helping that bit. My body is just all thrown off and it believes it needs to stay awake for another four or five hours in order to earn the right to crash from exhaustion.
Good things are on the move.
I have lots of ideas that are going to become realities.
And with I will bid you goodnight.
Today was my friend Jenny’s bridal shower. I was one of the hostess, although the Maid of Honor (also a very good friend) did all of the work and she did a beautiful job of it. It was lovely and I am unspeakably happy for my friend.
We are all so grown up now.
I remember being children with these girls and realize that that doesn’t happen much anymore. People don’t keep friends for as long, or really I guess most people can’t keep them as long. They move away, they lose track of people I guess. I am fortunate to still be close to many of the people I grew up with.
All the wedding stuff makes me want to sit on Pinterest and pin wedding things even though I am not close to getting married myself. I can’t even manage, at least yet, go on a date that amounts to anything much, which is kind of frustrating. I keep wanting to ask people where all of the men are actually hiding, because I have no idea where to find them. I’m doing all that I know to do and still. Here we are.
I can’t believe that Saturday is almost over.
Time to shop for glasses since mine got eaten.
Not posted last night when it should have been.
Today I really enjoyed people… which sounds kind of weird when I read it back to myself, but it’s true. I enjoyed knowing people. I enjoyed having moments where we could just be real with each other and say the things you’re not supposed to say when you lose a loved one, where we could talk about hypothetical wedding plans, where we could laugh because things were truly funny and where we could express hurt because my Dad’s front porch is the safest place on the planet.
I talked to a lot of different people today and my relationship to all of them is different, some personal, some professional, some very close, some in the beginning stages. For some reason today, it just all meant a lot to me to have people to talk to.
I chose to forgo posting yesterday because I couldn’t put what I felt into words. I felt like a blogging silence and a reblog of something that a friend wrote about 9/11 was enough.
So now we move on to today. September 12, 2013. Three years ago today I lost my Mom and I miss her. I miss her smile, her laugh, and the way she just was. We fought a lot and to say that I miss even that would be a lie, because I don’t miss that. But in being able to actually miss the good things I’m also able to see that there was a lot more good that I probably realized at times when she was living.
That’s one of the things death does.
September 12th three years ago today was a Sunday and I woke up, probably around this time, on the couch in my parents house. Two of my sisters, and one sisters boyfriend were sleeping next to me on the couch, my dad slept next to us in my Mom’s recliner. Mom passed around 2am and we’d gotten home from the hospital around 4am and all we could do was sit down and fall asleep all together.
My Mom was a woman on earth who tried very hard to take care of people and I am blessed today as I think of her to have the opportunity to help someone close to me who is also losing a parent in a very similar way to how I lost mine. It’s special to me to get to help do something that is so like something my Mom would have done on this day.
I love you Mom.
Tonight I spent the evening with several of my oldest friends working on homemade wedding decorations for one of said old friend’s up-coming wedding.
Pinterest is an ass. Just saying. In case you are wondering, there are not old doors and crates just laying around for the taking, you probably aren’t a genius cook and string balls, in spite of the many Pinterest tutorials that claim the opposite ARE NOT easy to make. Just to make sure you understand, here is evidence of tonight’s epic fail.
Fortunately the party favors are cute…
You’ve held your head up
You’ve fought the fight
You bear the scars
You’ve done your time
Listen to me
You’ve been lonely, too long
Let me in the walls
You’ve built around
We can light a match
And burn them down
Let me hold your hand
And dance ’round and ’round the flames
In front of us
Dust to dust
Today was a beautiful day.
This morning I had coffee with my sister, Kaylan, at a little place on the square here in Georgetown. It was quiet and cool outside and we sat and shared a danish and chatted and then went to Hobby Lobby to find knobs for my dresser (which I will post pictures of later).
After that I met with another friend and braved the crowds at Ikea to find decorations for the Graffiti (youth) room. We found some fun stuff and enjoyed good conversation.
I got to squeeze my nieces and nephew and talk to them about all of the interesting things they had been up to this afternoon. Tessa’s 5th birthday party is tomorrow afternoon and she is hardcore into making sure that she has every princessy thing in order (including making the request for my Dad to wear a “pretty-pretty dress”). I am kind of excited about her gift… Tessa loves My Little Ponies and I found new ones that are COVERED in glitter. I’ve been providing ponies for her for some time, so I’m pretty happy about these new additions.
This evening I went with my friend Sarah and her husband Mark to a pond on Mark’s boss’ property to let our dogs run and play. I think Zeke is going to be fast friends with Mark and Sarah’s dogs (Penny and Kate). They ran and ran and ran some more, and leaped in the water, swam and rolled around in the tall grass. It was beautiful. There was quiet, setting sun, good friends, happy dogs, and Mark and Sarah’s little guy having fun. It was the perfect way to unburden my heart after a rough day yesterday. I love how God knows that I need that sort of thing in order to feel right in the world again.
Last, but certainly not least I wandered Target (where I found the ponies I mentioned earlier) and talked. It was a short trip, as trips to Target go, but it was still a nice way to close the evening.
The lyrics to the Civil Wars song Dust to Dust have been stuck in my head all day, particularly the second verse and course I quoted at the beginning of this entry. I think I understand some things today that I didn’t yesterday, and I think God has been trying to teach me some things. Today I listened a lot more than I have in a while. Listening is good.
So now all that remains is to watch friends until I feel sleepy enough to drift off. I hope that your Saturday was as bless with small wonders, comforts, and signs of love as mine was.
Fresh air, nice weather (not blistering heat) and good company. Great way to spend a Sunday. We played the recently revamped Cat Hollow course, its lovely. Easy to follow (once you realize that the course has been completely overhauled and is backwards from the way it used to be), its clean, and has the prettiest tee-pads I’ve ever seen.