The older I get the more satisfied with not understanding them I get.

Dating is an adventure that I don’t understand. At all.  I don’t think I’ve ever understood it, but I feel better about it now than I did when I was 20-something. I mean, let’s be clear, by better I kind of me, “omg am I actually doing this?” but that IS better than feeling sick about it, which is how I felt in my 20’s.

Of course that could have a lot to do with the way I went about it in my 20’s too. I felt I needed to know a minute and a half into a date if this was a person that I would be willing to spend years with. There was no now, there was only what could be, if there was potential, what future could I see. Unsurprisingly, because I am not a medium or fortune-teller, I could never see ANY future with any of the guys I dated, which resulted in a lot of awkward first dates that never evolved into anything more.

Armed with just a little more wisdom now than I could carry in my 20’s I realize that I made a mistake in not factoring in time to get to know any of the guys I went on first dates with. I was so busy in the future that I didn’t enjoy the process of discovery that comes with new relationships.  If I’m being 100% honest, I didn’t anticipate enjoying it in my 30’s either, but because I have at least learned to go slower, it’s something I am realizing and am pleasantly surprised by.  Discovery is great… great like a gold mine. Sometimes funny, curious, intriguing and fun.  I also realize that I don’t want someone to think they can know enough about me in less than an hour to make any firm decision about what kind of friends we can be, and I shouldn’t do that to other people either.

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