Tonight I took my nieces and nephew to “Old McDonald”.

We all ate chicken nuggets on the playground and talked about the pictures we could see in the clouds. Then Tessa told me about how she likes to eat like a “maniac”. My favorite part of that conversation was her description of what a maniac is, which involved very few words and a lot of flailing and very special facial expressions.

I learned that if you treat the people at McDonald’s like human beings the sauce policy is more lenient than normal and that I can carry three very large ice cream cones in one hand while directing traffic with the other.

After eating and playing and  ice cream cones (which Cash dropped and then continued eating anyway) we drove home, windows down, listening to photo (1)Imagine Dragons turned up loud and enjoyed the unusually cool July evening. At home we sat for an hour and I read books, then Shelby read books. It was quiet and cozy.

I am one hell of an aunt.

I miss my mom so much lately.

32 is turning out to be a year where I feel like I’m getting smacked in the face with all of these feelings, fears, hopes, dreams, changes, challenges, adventures, discoveries, disappointments, and heartaches all at once and I wish so badly that she was here so I could just ask her if this is how she felt? I just wish I knew what she heard from God when she was my age and what she prayed and hoped for seemed like it was impossible and she felt lonely. I wish I had asked her. I wish I had asked her a thousand times so I knew it by heart.

I’m thankful that I know for sure God hears me. I know He’s there and he hears me.

In other news… I also learned that if Cash comes to me and says, “Um Katie, you probably don’t want to know this, but…” that I do not, in fact, want to know whatever comes after that but.