Lately I feel as though my head is so full that it’s got my body trying to go in three different directions. There are some many things that are important to me. So many things that I not only want to do, but want to do well. 

I’m still at a loss for what to do about my retail job. I mean, I know I need to be in something with more regular business hours. I need to able to do the things I care about doing without feeling like they are a chore because retail sucks the life out of me in a way that makes me feel brain dead at times. 

This isn’t the life I want. And I know, I know. There aren’t many people who truly have the life they want. But when I think about it, I mean really think about it, what are we doing here? Seriously. Think. What are we doing here? I wasn’t put on this planet to survive, I was put on it to live. Yes I have to pay bills, but do I want to get to the end of my life and that’s what I’ve accomplished? Really? 

It’s a lot to try to figure out,  and while I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to figure out, there are about ten things I need to get done before noon, which is when I have to get ready to go to my retail job and do retail things while all of the things that I’m most passionate about politely get put on pause. 

It seems so wrong, pressing pause on passion. Hm. 

I need to do something creative. I need some complex makeup to do, it helps my mind organize, it puts things into order.