Yesterday I engaged in what I can only describe as foot torture.

Having felt unsuccessful in my attempt at breaking my shoes in while wearing socks, I decided to go back to the internet for advice. The next gem on the list was applying lotion to your feet, the result of which should be two-fold, making both the shoe more comfortable and the inside of the shoe softer so that it stretches more readily while being worn.

I beg you, from the bottom of my heart, please do not try this method at home. DON’T DO IT.

What happened after having applied the lotion to my feet (Lush fair trade foot lotion) is a combination of pure evil and mind-numbing pain. Who ever first recommended this procedure clearly hates feet.

We’ve spoke about how wearing shoes that are too big will cause your foot to slide down into the toe, well, the lotion has the same effect on your foot in the shoe whether it’s too big or not. I felt as though my entire foot were crammed into the toe of my shoe and trying desperately to burst from the peep.  Not only that, but my feet were so slippery inside the shoe that it made it impossible to walk.

My shoes do NOT feel more broken in and it’s amazing I didn’t fall flat on my face! Please, PLEASE, for the love of your feet, do not try this.