“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

That’s the sound I hear in my head every time I see a pair of these pants abused.

I don’t begrudge those with a body fit for wearing skinny jeans, that’s just life, but the trouble I have with trend is that everyone tries to wear the same thing and I’m beginning to wonder if mirrors have gone out of style, because no one appears to be looking in them any more. It seems the general assumption is that  a pair of skinny jeans magically turns you into a skinny person!

Now before I join “The Church of high judgement” and start passing out mirrors instead of tracts, let’s talk about a couple of important details.

The first is simply, remember that “skinny” is not the ideal shape, it’s just one of many shapes. Trust me, I’m not going to give one of those self-righteous speeches here about how we’re all beautiful and we shouldn’t try to change ourselves blah blah blah blah blah. I’m as guilty as the next person of wanting to be “skinny” and I have to do a LOT of work not to let that mentality run the show. However, I do believe that there is the right shape for your body. I understand that when you feel uncomfortable in your own skin, having someone tell you that you are beautiful just the way you are and that you should just learn to love and accept yourself, doesn’t make you feel better, it makes you feel hopeless, and I’m not here to be that person. Find out what the right shape for your body is (and by “find out” I don’t mean consult your fashion magazines. Instead, learn about your body, what is healthy weight for your bone structure and hight? Seek the opinion of a medical professional if you must) and the work towards that, AND DRESS FOR THAT SIZE. Flattering is always in style. When your clothes make the most of your shape, no one is going to notice or care whether or not they match the window mannequins of every fast-fashion retailer in the nation. All they are going to see is you and how good you look. Period.

And don’t worry, this does not in any way mean that trend is off limits to you. Just because one portion of trend may not apply well to your shape, doesn’t mean you have to toss the baby with the bath water. Trend should be about interpretation, taste, and expressing your personality. NOT becoming a part of one global personality.  Once you’ve over come the urge to copy-cat, pick your fashion magazines back up and use them as inspiration and not a dictator.

Next, If you feel you just must own and wear a pair of skinny jeans, do yourself and the people who have to look at you a favor, buy them in the right size. How do you know what the right size is, you ask? Here’s a simple method for knowing, save and print picture above and tape it to the mirror when you’re trying on pants. If your mid-section even remotely resembles the picture, go up a size.

Again, I realize that ignoring the size of the clothing and just getting what fits is a lot easier to say that it is to do, especially when you see clothes on the rack that are a size zero. I don’t even think they made a size zero when I was a teenager, back then it was a size 4 that haunted me.  Join me in a bit of a conspiracy theorist moment to see what helps me… think about it, the fashion industry is out to make money, the fitness industry is also out to make money and both make more money when they work together. It’s a very vicious cycle, the fashion industry sells you trends that only look great on a very specific body shape (one that is conveniently not in the majority) and you want to be trendy so you invest, and then in turn have to also invest in gyms and diets in order to fit into those trends.

My best advice is, put down your fashion magazines, hooded sandals, and skinny jeans for a moment and pick up a mirror.

You fashion magazines are getting paid by brands, labels, and fashion houses to tell you how to look. My advice is given free of charge. Who are you going to trust?

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