Not cute.

I don’t care who you are, what you look like, I don’t want to see your yoga pants in public. And yes, you can hum that to the tune of The Backstreet Boys ‘As Long As You Love Me’ if it will help you remember this rule, that I, newly appointed queen of the universe, am in stating.

I’m not exactly sure when this trend started or who’s face deserves to be punched for it, all I’m sure of at this point is that it has to stop.

Women everywhere are suddenly under the impression that it is appropriate and even attractive to be seen out in public in athletic attire. I find this utterly and inexcusably ridiculous and it’s my hope to shine the light of truth on the myths surrounding the idea of wearing gym clothes outside of… well the gym.

Myth #1 If I dress it, they will believe it.

In roughly 99.9% of all sightings of women out and about in their gym clothes, the only indication of them having actually been to the gym is the presence of the clothes themselves. Instead of sweat, pink cheeks and matted hair, you find perfume, hair in a perfect ponytail and makeup suspiciously not melting off the face. It seems that the general assumption is that people will regard you as a healthy person if you dress as if you spend so much time in the gym that you couldn’t possibly have been bothered to change before you ran your errands.  This is not the case, especially since the fast majority of people who fall prey are wearing ill-fitting workout clothes. Trust me honey, if you’re squeezing yourself into tighter than tight yoga pants, or you’re spilling out of your sports bra, the last thing anyone is thinking is “Wow, that girl must work out a lot.”

Myth #2 The presence of lycra in your wardrobe magically burns calories.

One cannot get fit by virtue of outfit alone. Having “cute” workout clothes and wearing them every time you set foot outside the door is not going to make you more likely to set foot inside the gym, nor is it going to inspire you to go out and doing something active. Sitting on the couch is sitting on the couch, driving in the car is driving in the car, and shopping is shopping. These activities do not burn more or less calories based on the amount of spandex you’re wearing. Do yourself a favor and actually use the gym clothes in the gym, where they can do you some good, and wear your normal clothes out in public, so that I’m not forced to see the outline of your butt cheeks!

Myth #3 Casual is cute and workout clothes are casual

Casual is cute… this is why denim was invented… oh, what’s that you say? It’s summer? Too hot for jeans? No worries, allow me to introduce you to my friend the  sun dress. Let’s take a moment and think about this logically, shall we? According to various web dictionaries the definition of casual is,

Without definite or serious intention…

Jeans or a sun dress fit perfectly into this category of dress… you could go just about anywhere and do just about anything in them.   Your gym gear, however, does not fit into this category simply because is definite intent and purpose to these clothing. I suppose some might argue the case of gym clothes being comfortable, but if we’re going to go there, well, you force me to say it. Wearing gym clothes in public, outside of the gym is the grown up equivalent to teenagers wearing pajama pants everywhere.

And that is all I have to say.