boom boom pow

This picture is supposed to symbolize “grrr we are big strong ladies!”

Last night I had quite an experience taking out the trash. I have to say, working in a mall, taking out the trash is always an experience. Maybe I find the whole trash adventure more adventurous than anyone else, but let me paint you a little mental picture…

There were three of us girls there last night, it was midnight, and we had been changing out the window decoration and some merchandising. This makes a lot of trash, the old window decoration and back drop, tons of cardboard boxes (most of them bigger than we were). So after all is done, the last step is taking out the trash.

We loaded down two dollies and still had things left over to carry, we lined up at the door and were ready to head out. All seemed to be going smoothly until my dolly wouldn’t fit out of the door due to a large pieces of cardboard at the very bottom of my huge stack of trash. Rather than unload, the three of us put all of our strength together and decided to force the dolly through the door. Ha. One girl was outside pulling, while two of us were pushing, which eventually led to kicking, which eventually led to the trash laden dolly nearly crushing the girl on the outside against the wall behind her… but we got it through the door.

Next we have to enter  with our heaps of trash into The Elevator Of Doom.  You come to this particular elevator after you’ve walked through a hallway that looks more like a secret passageway to a dungeon. At first you think this elevator is like a normal elevator, perhaps just a bit on the rough side, but then its doors open to reveal a metal cage that opens, then starts to scream (buzz very loudly) at you, “GET IN OR I WILL CLAMP MY JAWS DOWN ON YOU”. You run (because you’re scared not to) inside covering your head, sure that the giant gate is about to crush you, and just when you’re breathing a sigh of relief because you made it inside alive, the gate slams shut with a loud bang.

This begins your decent into the darkest place of the mall… the docking and trash area. In my head I imagine it as a dried up, haunted, sea port or something like that. At this time of night there are no trucks loading or unloading, there just a sea of concrete and 6 ft drops along the somewhat narrow pathway you have to take to get to… the trash compactor. In my mind (that’s filled with every scenario in which I might be killed) the trash compactor is the perfect setting for a murder. I can just see it, young girls go down to take out trash, and as they’re throwing boxes into the compactor they get clunked on the head with some heavy object and then shoved into the compactor as well. *shudders*

In reality, however, it mostly just stinks really bad and makes an awful, loud, noise. After all the trash is in and the compactor is doing its job, you have to risk your life one more time in The Elevator Of Doom, but after that it gets far less interesting. =)

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, you’re lucky to have me home in one piece, for now. Hopefully today I wont be on trash duty!

* photo credit-

Image: djcodrin /